April 8, 2010

Today, I'm thinking about fear. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
I am experiencing many fears today. I went to the barn with the intention of hopping Jordan over some fences. I was only able to jump two TINY jumps, before I became so afraid that I couldn't breathe. The horse was perfectly willing to jump and was happy to be working, but I was so paralyzed with fear that I had to stop for the day! I guess the next time we jump, it will be in a lesson with Jen or Sue!
Eric and I are building a new home, and I'm afraid about that. I'm afraid that we could have money problems, or that the old house won't sell.
Also, worst fear--I found a lump a week ago. It's very tiny and right where my mastectomy scar is. I don't want to face this fear. I am going to watch it and see if it stays the same. Eric says it feels like a scar, so I'm sticking with his diagnosis for now. If it changes at all, I'll make an appointment to see Wink.
So, how do I face these fears? What do I do? If I go to see Wink right away, I might be jumping the gun. Besides, I have my five year checkup in a few weeks, so I'll be seeing him soon enough.
I want to know how to face the fear and make it go away.
With the horses, I know that this will get better. I was afraid to even trot my horse 2 months ago, and now I'm ready to start jumping! It is getting better.
With the house, I'm ready to jump in with both feet! The house is going to be absolutely gorgeous, and I'm so ready to leave Covington!
So, I guess that my fears are good things. They will help me to stay safe, to keep an eye out on my health, and make things a little more exciting!
Do any of you guys have any fears? I feel sometimes like I'm the only person on earth that is afraid. How do you fight your fears?
I fight mine with repetition, talking openly, and sometimes, just sitting back and enjoying the ride!