A good friend gave me a riding lesson on Saturday. We jumped some cross rails, which was a great time! Jordan is a great horse for me to learn on. I'm going to get spoiled, riding a horse that doesn't buck or throw his head up after the fence!
Anyway, after the lesson, said something to me that really hit home. "Rachael, I really think that you still have this vision of you as "Rachael With Cancer." That's finished now, you are strong and healthy and need to see yourself as such. It's time to start living your life."
She was right! I've had so many problems with fear lately, and it's largely due to the fact that I don't have any confidence in myself.
So, Saturday evening I made a promise to myself. No more excuses, no more reasons to fail, I've been giving up before I even try! I've told myself so many times that I can't ride well because they removed some stomach muscle for reconstruction and my core is weak. I also haven't pushed my body because I've been afraid that I can't do it. Even at the gym, I haven't been working hard enough. I also haven't been eating right. All of this because I think I'm going to fail, so what's the point?
This is going to be a very hard habit to break, but I can do it! Let's see how it goes...
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Rachel,
ReplyDeleteI finished the book! Fantastic! You are amazing! Thanks for sharing your story. I'm passing our second copy on to a friend. Good luck with the riding! I KNOW you can do it. I've come to learn fear is our greatest enemy..well...maybe next to self-criticism. Both of which can definitely be kicked in the "arse"! Hugs~ Kim Schofield